If this is love,then I want it.

If this is said to be love, then I want to feel it.

I want to lead life like the others.

Why must I feel like shit, when things aren't the way I think it is?

Damn! those people around me.

Whatever they say, is not gonna bring me down.

If you were not the one then why does my hand fits yours?

Goshhhh. I want things to be back to normal. Just a note to myself.

I'm not gonna think about anything anymore. Lol.

I hope!

i feel like shit..

i don't know why is it whenever i see those pictures and those posts she made for you,

i feel like throwing up,

i get angry,

i feel that maybe she was the one for you and not me,

i just feel like shit okay.

exactly how i felt the day i was in the car with you,

the day i found the truth from the inner you.

why must it be her and you still keeping in touch with her family even makes it worst.

i just cannot get it out of my fucking head, no matter how much i try.

it's like i can't breath.

i can't sleep.

all i do is think about what else you hid from me.

prolly there'e hell alot of stuff you hid from me.

i'm feeling the pain.

it's like it's choking me, it's stabbing me into pieces.

everytime i think about the shit you did.

with that fugly bitch.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i feel like screaming my lungs out right now, because i just saw something my cousin brother showed me.

it's seems like she did really love you at first.

it's like i'm just a fucking replacement for you to move on.

laugh it out loud bitch, you had him before i did.

i wishh, and only wish i could cure this pain.

but anyways, i'm in the search somewhere i could find happiness.

with or without forgetting that shit.

Teenage Dream

You think I'm pretty
Without any makeup on
You think I'm funny
When I tell the punchline wrong
I know you get me
So I let my walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was a wreck but things
Were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my Valentine, Valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever

You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali
And got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and
Built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever

You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

I'mma get your heart racing
In my skin tights jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me
In my skin tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

Yoooouuu
You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
No

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

I'mma get your heart racing
In my skin tights jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me
In my skin tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
(Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight)

Finally, it's your day today.

I know I'm not there to celebrate your birthday with you,

and things turned out this way,

It's not how we wished it was right?

Everything does happen for a reason.

If this is what it's suppose to be, then let it be this way,

I know I'm a bad person, as you said, I always hurt you.

But I really wish I did not.

All I want is you to be happy, Jif.

That's why I'm drifting away from you.

Way far where in time, you can't even reach me.

As for today, it's your birthday.

"Happy Birthday"

Have fun yeah? I know your friends would make you have fun somehow.

Wish you all the best in life, take good care of yourself.

Given up? I guess there's nothing left to say anymore.

As I said yesterday, and you've already read I guess.

So it's all good now, You live your life, I will live mine.

But remember what I said, One day you'll regret all this. I swear.

The day you do realize, please do let me know, I would be pleased to hear from you then.

It's not like I'm going to be happy, but I would be happy to know I was right all this while.

Oh and finally, you admitted your friends are more important to you, so it was true when I said,

your friends were more important than me.

Just that, at that time, you couldn't or maybe didn't want to admit.

After all, truth is always the truth.

Knowing now hurts me even more. To know that, I was with a person who put his peers first before his love.

Awesome. Than what's the point of you telling me you want me back and all that crap, when you already have occupied the space in your life with your friends in it.

Where do I come then? No where right.

You said I listen to my friends. Lol. The truth is, if I listen to my friends, I would have just forgotten you back then, I wouldn't be with you in the first place.

I know My Fucking Ex-Bestfriend told you alot about me. What I do, Where I am and all that bullshit.

But do you even know, at first, she was against you as well. When she can backstab me, whats left.

Anyways, I didn't want to talk about that. All I wanted to say was, be happy with your life. Since your friends are there for you, I don't need to bother about you anymore.

They'll take care of you very well, of course they will, they are good friends and thats why, when you smoke like crap and get wasted all the time, they don't stop you, right?

When I stop you, I would be labelled as the bad one right? Now I'm saying I don't care what you do. It's your life, your wish.

Good to know, we were once together, and I wished the ending was as retard as this. But nevermind, I believe, everything happens for a reason. All I'm gonna do is, to wait and see what is the reason behind all this.

Take care :)

A Complete Stranger

it's like i've been not blogging for ages.

just that i was drowning in my own problems.

heartache was like cutting off my breath,

each time i gasp for air.

i've been through mental torture as well.

don't worry i'm not mentally retarded yet,

but i wouldn't be surprise if one day i'm my own patient :)

i was drowning in my tears,

nobody even cared to offer their hands,

and you, especially,

just stood there, all you were asking for is me,

but have you ever thought of,

what i'm going through each and every time you do that?

at least try fixing yourself up first,

not just stand there,

yell and yell,

saying you've changed,

the truth is,

you never did, you never will sweetheart.

thats the truth.

hurting you? thats what you always say.

yes, i'm freaking hurting you.

each and everytime i do!

at least i'm admitting.

i'm not pretending

i loved you. yes i did.

but what i got in return?

and when i decided, leaving was the only option.

you showed me how much you love me,

but it's that fair for me?

when i've finally moved on with my life.

leave that aside.

lets talk about what you did recently,

you played with my feelings.

not just you.

all your friends who were apart of it.

i got all worried, at first i thought you wouldn't do it,

but when i called you, texted you, there wasn't any reply.

imagine how i felt that point?

only i know how i felt.

but then you could talk to your friends.

but not me.

so tell me, how is that loving me? or even saying you've changed?

its more like "i love my friends! hell yeah!"

thats the truth.

thats how i feel.

back then and now, just the same.

i feel, i'm better of as your friend, at least you'll care about me.

at least you'll know that i do actually exist in your world.

hurts you, hearing me say this.

it hurts me even more to voice this out.

you ignored me, so i already know that you don't want me to care about you anymore,

oh well, i forgot who i am at that point.

i'm nobody, but a complete stranger

thats why, you could just ignore my calls, a hundreds of them i gave.

but could answer your one call from your friend.

it's alright, i do realise who i am.

thats why, from today, i wouldn't care anymore about you.

at least i'll try not to.

i'm a complete stranger for you.

from this very second.

from this very minute.

what i have, that little bit i felt for you,

it's completely gone now.

thanks, for making realise who i am.

thanks :)

New Obsession

this is my new obsession

omg!

he is so effin' cute

it's like when i see him,

i keep looking at his cute face,

damn shit.

he is really really really cute

Shahid Kapoor!!!

as i grow up, i learn that even the one person

who wasn't suppose to let me down,

eventually will.

you'll have your heart broken,

probably more than once,

and it gets harder every time.

you'll break hearts too,

just to show and let out what you felt.

you'll fight with your bestfriend,

if they still stay beside you,

then they are true and if not,

then they are just virtual friends,not real friends.

you'll blame a new love for what the old one did,

one day you'll sit in a corner and cry

for time passes by too fast.

you'll eventually lose someone who was once so close to you.

once this little moments of life leaves you,

even if you look back,

you will not be able to look for it ever again,

so love like you've never been hurt,

otherwise,

it's your lost.

i love walking in the rain because no one knows i'm crying.

whenever someone asked me whether do I actually think of you, do I actually miss you.
all i did was just listen and didn't answer to their question.

after a while, i closed my eyes and,

i just walked away and whispered,

so much.

But i was just helping both me and you out of this mess,

i thought i'll pull through, just that i failed.

i just gave up on everything, but that doesn't make me weak,

it made me stronger in a way,

stronger to let go.

for now, you can call me the girl that no one ever noticed.

call me the girl who no one ever cared about.

call me the girl that you can pass by in a hall and not give a damn,

call me the forgotten.

i know i can't go back to faded photographs.

somethings are just meant to not last forever.

stop breaking me up, i'm already shattered to pieces.

i wish i was invisible,

just as you make me feel.

here's a prayer to myself and those who are in the same shoes as i am,

"Faith has been broken, tear.s must be cried,

Let's do some living, after we die."

Amen

the forgotten.

She says she doesn't care,

[But her eyes tell a whole different story]..

i remember those days when, every night i would talk to the stars, pretending it's you.but i wasn't surprise,it would just act like how you do though,far away and never replies to my questions.whats the sense of wishing for something when i always just wish it away?when i turn to the people close to me, they just would say it isn't worth doing all this,that i have to learn to let go,but at the beginning they were the one who told me to go for it. why do people tell you to believe in what you want to but then tell you not to believe in the one true thing you do want to believe in? and to make things worst having friends who do betray you in the end by saying different things on the other side and a different story on the other. where would i actually get to escape all this torture? when i think of slitting my wrist, i just can't seem to find the blade. i just want to end this misery,i can't take it no more. i'm too fragile, i'm too weak for all this. the slightest tears i shed would want me to end my life.i wish the afterlife i don't need to see all this hatred no more. i hope the afterlife i'll live would be a better place where people do know to respect, to love, to care, to be there when you really need them.i just can wish. *sighhh* sometimes i ask myself, why did i even cry for you, it's not like you ever cared my existence. i cried for the time that you were almost mine, but i know i never had you. i cry for the memories i've left behind, i cry for the pain,the lost, the old and the new, i cry for the times i really thought i had you, but you just slipped away, without turning and looking back at me. The bitterest tears i shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

"For now time has now forgotten us,

Yet our memory lingers, and love remembers

This person writing this was once called yours."

the forgotten