A Complete Stranger

it's like i've been not blogging for ages.

just that i was drowning in my own problems.

heartache was like cutting off my breath,

each time i gasp for air.

i've been through mental torture as well.

don't worry i'm not mentally retarded yet,

but i wouldn't be surprise if one day i'm my own patient :)

i was drowning in my tears,

nobody even cared to offer their hands,

and you, especially,

just stood there, all you were asking for is me,

but have you ever thought of,

what i'm going through each and every time you do that?

at least try fixing yourself up first,

not just stand there,

yell and yell,

saying you've changed,

the truth is,

you never did, you never will sweetheart.

thats the truth.

hurting you? thats what you always say.

yes, i'm freaking hurting you.

each and everytime i do!

at least i'm admitting.

i'm not pretending

i loved you. yes i did.

but what i got in return?

and when i decided, leaving was the only option.

you showed me how much you love me,

but it's that fair for me?

when i've finally moved on with my life.

leave that aside.

lets talk about what you did recently,

you played with my feelings.

not just you.

all your friends who were apart of it.

i got all worried, at first i thought you wouldn't do it,

but when i called you, texted you, there wasn't any reply.

imagine how i felt that point?

only i know how i felt.

but then you could talk to your friends.

but not me.

so tell me, how is that loving me? or even saying you've changed?

its more like "i love my friends! hell yeah!"

thats the truth.

thats how i feel.

back then and now, just the same.

i feel, i'm better of as your friend, at least you'll care about me.

at least you'll know that i do actually exist in your world.

hurts you, hearing me say this.

it hurts me even more to voice this out.

you ignored me, so i already know that you don't want me to care about you anymore,

oh well, i forgot who i am at that point.

i'm nobody, but a complete stranger

thats why, you could just ignore my calls, a hundreds of them i gave.

but could answer your one call from your friend.

it's alright, i do realise who i am.

thats why, from today, i wouldn't care anymore about you.

at least i'll try not to.

i'm a complete stranger for you.

from this very second.

from this very minute.

what i have, that little bit i felt for you,

it's completely gone now.

thanks, for making realise who i am.

thanks :)