I thought...

I thought you were different, but you turn out to cheat my beliefs.

You're just the same as everyoneeee.

Those who weren't there when I needed them. Yes, them.

Those who spat on me when I needed their help.

I guess, it's my faith.

My life sucks waayyyy more than a person can ever have.

Screw my life man. Why I needed a second chance to live, when I have to see all this happening before my eyes?

God, why didn't you just take my life away the day you created this problemmm?

It would be alooooot more easier than this. And you know it.

I don't know, how long I can go through all this but if one day I close my eyes for good, just remember that I did love you, I do love you and I always will love you, alive or dead (:

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‎Just for a thought,

I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?

Or do you enjoy hearing to my heart breaking into pieces watching your actions towards me?

What have I even done, for you to do that to me?

Isn't dying just better than all this fuckery?

I was being considerate, but you made me seem like being inconsiderate is better.

I was being loving, but you made me seem like being cruel is better.

What else can I do. I just don't seem to understand why.

I've left everything behind, thinking that I would continue it with you.

Just as I thought, I'm fine and I was happy that I actually could live my life again,

You killed me that very second. Yes you did.

I'm not complaining, or asking anything from you.

I just want to justify myself.

I just want to have a clear explanation.

I just want to know is being considerate wrong?

I just wanted to you to be happy for god damn's sake!

Whining away now isn't gonna change anything, I know.

I'll show you what you've just lost. I'll shove it in your face.

That's a promise.

I've watched you do things. So now, you watch me do things. Fair enough, isn't it?

Time

Time is the only thing that i can count on now,

Yes, it feels like shit when you actually think you're about to die,

I know how it feels like, but i kept it to myself all this while.

I tried smiling, I tried covering all my sorrows,

but whats the point when i'm burying all my happiness, with my own hands.

I wish i could turn the clock around to those happiest moments of my life,

where friends and love were present,

now i'm just like a body waiting to depart from it's soul,

i hope i'm not gonna face it,

at least not these soon,

if God does exist, he would want to show me some happiness.

For all that were part of my life, or still are, I wish you guys the very best in life.

Don't waste a second of your life, live it to the fullest,

ask me how i feel like when my life is gonna be pulled out of me anytime soon.

Depends on the next appointment i have.

I really hope, really do hope, I'll get a second chance in life. I'll live it to the fullest, with happiness. No sadness and sorrows anymore. Please god, Bless my soul, if i'm running out of time.

Amen